When I clicked on Jesy Nelson's documentary on BBC iPlayer, I actually didn't intend on watching it all, and I certainly didn't expect to be so engrossed in it! I hovered over the documentary for a few minutes, debating whether or not to click play, after hearing so much about it online. Eventually curiosity got the better of me, and I clicked play. I snuggled into the sofa, casually expecting it to be about a shallow celebrity talking about her childhood and how becoming a pop-star had changed her life for the better, but I couldn't have been more wrong!

I didn't watch X Factor the year Little Mix won, and although I do like quite a lot of their songs, I don't claim to be a fan and I know very little about the group. I, like many others, have struggled with my image since secondary school and no amount of make up, clothes or compliments will boost my confidence or make me accept how I look. I was bullied in the playground and online, and at one point, I remember being petrified to go to school. Watching Jesy on the tv give such a heartfelt and emotional description of her life, and telling how X Factor had made her life worse rather than better, struck such a chord within me and I felt I could relate on so many levels.

Unlike Jesy though, I haven't been the victim of online trolls. Hearing some of the comments that she received on a daily basis disgusted me. I still can't quite believe some people have it in them to be so cruel to others, just because they think they are protected by the safety of their computer screens.

I thought it was interesting that the documentary wasn't solely about Jesy, and that she took the time to travel and meet other people who had experienced loss, and workshops who help support people who have been victims of bullying and abuse.

I was so completely absorbed by this documentary and I was literally moved to tears at a few points during it. It really makes you realise just how damaging social media can be. I actually think I am lucky that social media sites were introduced when I was a teenager (I did have msn though!) but I genuinely worry about the future generations who will grow up with social media and see it as 'the norm'.

It's finally October, my favourite month and my favourite season! It's also the start of Blogtober, a challenge where bloggers post every day throughout the month of October. There are no rules, posts can be about any topic, meaning people can get as creative as they want!
I actually think we're pretty lucky in the UK to have Autumn. I couldn't imagine living in a country where it's either summer or winter for the majority of the year... which leads me to my first post of Blogtober, '10 Things I Love about Autumn!'

 1. The colour
I know that technically autumn is the season where leaves die and fall from the trees, which, when you think about it, is quite depressing, but how pretty does that amber glow on the floor look?

2. Walks in the park
That 'crunch, crunch, crunch' sound is so relaxing, and the scenery is stunning.

3. The smell
Ok, this one is kind of difficult to explain but you know early in the morning when you leave the house; it's cold, it's damp, and there's a certain dewy smell in the air? That! That's the smell of autumn to me and I love it. Instantly I'm transported to those cold mornings walking to school and being forced to wait outside until the bell went. Also, the smell of a good pumpkin scented candle!

4. The temperature
I feel like Autumn is the 'Goldilocks' of the year when it comes to temperature; not too hot that you want to peel your skin off and have to endure the pain of chub-rub between your thighs, but not so cold that your nose stings and your body won't stop shivering
(side note: sorry, but writing that just reminded me of that scene from Miss Congeniality where William Shatner asks Miss Rhode Island to describe her perfect date, "April 25th. Because it's not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket.")
5. Pumpkin Spice Lattes
Need I say more?! I just wish there was a Starbucks on my way to work!

6. My Birthday!! 
Plus my dads, birthday, my mum's birthday and a few other friends... It's a busy (and expensive!) time of the year, but I love it

7. Pumpkin picking
I've promised myself that this year, I will not leave pumpkin picking til the last minute! It certainly gets very muddy, so a good pair of wellies is a must! But depending where you go, there's also other fun things to do, like kids lawn games and stalls selling hot drinks to keep you toastie!
8. Autumn fashion 
Bring on the layers! Scarves, jackets, cute hats, and of course, a chunky mustard knit! There are so many cute things in the shops at this time of year, it can get pretty dangerous on my bank account!

9. Halloween
Halloween can be as serious or as fun as you want it to be, and one thing in particular that I look forward to is decorating and making tasty treats for us to enjoy. I'm not keen on trick or treaters (but thats because in the past, our house has been egg'ed and thats what spoils the fun for me!) but I love seeing the little kiddos in the family dressed up, so cute!

10. Cosy nights in
What more could you want after a long day at work, than to be snuggled up on the sofa, feet up, the glow of a warm fire, a cosy blanket, a pumpkin spice latte (or hot chocolate!), scented candles burning and a good movie on the tv!

If you've booked a holiday this year you're probably thinking about buying some... hell, you might even have bought it already! We're all told to use it, and all made aware of the fancy lingo like 'SPF', 'UVA' and 'UVB'... but do you truly understand why we need to use sun creams? You're probably thinking, 'don't be silly, of course I know why; to stop me burning and getting cancer!' You're right, but the vast majority of people still aren't taking the right steps to protect their skin.

I for one love summer; the warmth, getting a nice bronze tan, beach hair, wearing strappy summer dresses and flip-flops, and lazing next to the pool all day, so I've been reading up on the reasons why we need to protect our skin, and I thought I would take some time to share with you what I've found.

Your skin is made up of two types of pigmentation; carotene, which is orange-yellow (and found in foods like carrots) and melanin, which is brown, yellow-brown or black, and this is the layer that absorbs UV radiation and actually protects the layers below it.

Of course there are benefits of being in the sun; the sun is a great source of vitamin D3, which is great for strong bones and healthy hair, but if the skin burns, not only does it damage the nerves and make you turn red, but it can damage your DNA and triple your risk of skin cancer.

Sun cream has ingredients in it, that helps prevent UV radiation from reaching the skin, by either reflecting it, or chemically converting it into heat instead. There is no sun cream that will block the suns rays 100%, so you can still tan a little even if you are wearing sun cream, just at a slower rate. What's more, as an added bonus, sun cream can actually help to keep you looking young and your skin tone even, as UV exposure is the number one cause of premature aging of the face and discolouration!

SPF, UVA, UVB... What does it all mean?

UV stands for ultraviolet (radiation) and there are two types; UVA and UVB.

UVB is responsible for actually burning the skin and is the main cause for cancer. This is where SPF comes in. SPF stands for Sun Protection Factor and is indicated by the big number you usually see on the front of the bottle. The higher the number, the greater the protection. Simple.

Or is it?

Actually both UVB and A can penetrate into the skin and cause cancer, so it is important when you're looking at purchasing a sun cream, to look at the exact type of protection you are getting to protect against both.

It used to be rare for the UVA rating to be printed on bottles of sun cream. Sometimes manufacturers would place a star rating on the back of the bottle, but more and more manufacturers are now printing this on the front of the bottle alongside the SPF so it's nice and clear. UVA protection is given a star rating. The more stars, the better the protection. It's recommended that you opt for a cream with either 4 or 5 star protection!


Just because a sun cream has a high SPF and says it gives high protection, the UVA star rating could actually be very low, so you may be exposing yourself to harmful rays without even realising. Like this example

When I went back to work after the New Year, the same old predictable conversation that engulfs everyone's minds came up. It starts with a simple question. What's your New Years resolution?

It's normally followed by at least one person claiming they're going to lose 5 stone and have the Victoria's Secret body, one who insists they will be more organised (you probably know who this person is already judging by the state of their desk!) one who vows will be more eco friendly and use less plastic, and one person who say's something along the lines of, 'I don't believe in resolutions, what's different about today than yesterday?'

I've set resolutions in the past, but I don't think I've ever stuck to a single one of them! There just seems to be so much pressure about having to think of one thing you'd like to change about yourself and to then spend the rest of the year trying to perfect who you are. Of course there are things that I would like to change about my current situation, but I'm not going to force pressure and call them resolutions.

Instead I'm going to give myself 19 easily achievable (hopefully!) mini-targets with no pressure whatsoever, simply for self-care and mental wellbeing.


1. Use up all the toiletries and soaps I have somehow managed to accumulate and hoard (you know the mini bottles of shampoo and shower gel you get in hotels? Yeah, those!)

2. Similarly, use up all my half-used make up because I was so easily influenced to buy the latest palette or highlighter instead (or if they're out of date, throw them away!)

3. Unsubscribe from all those irritating and unwanted emails that I stupidly subscribed to and now delete without even reading.

4. Go back to ww with a positive attitude and focus on better nutrition rather than weight-loss.

5. Unfollow instagram accounts or twitter accounts that make me feel like poop! There's nothing wrong with unfollowing people (to be honest, the accounts I'm thinking of have so many followers they wouldn't even notice, let alone care!)

6. Make more effort to put down the phone, or step away from Netflix and enjoy some time without technology, focusing on the here and now.

7. Come to the realisation that I'm not 18 with a high metabolism anymore, and I never will be again! So get rid of the clothes that I haven't worn and I'm holding onto for the sake of 'one day', and buy clothes that fit me now. It's ok to hold onto a few things, but when your wardrobe is more like a floordrobe because you've run out of room, things need to change!

8. Stop putting pressure on myself and do what I want to do, not what I'm expected to do. I've had a pretty tough few years chasing after other people's expectations of me (in more ways than one) and now I'm left completely lost without any idea or direction. I need to take some time and find out what brings me happiness, rather than what makes other people happy. In particular I'm talking about my career. If you've read my blog before, you'll probably know I wasted spent 10 years working in schools, both as a teacher and support staff, and to be quite honest, I hated every second of it! ...But I carried on until I snapped. A year on, and now that my counselling has come to an end, I need to refocus my life and create my own future. Perhaps come up with a five year plan...? Perhaps I can turn a hobby into a career....? Whatever it is, I need to act now.

9. This one's kind of similar to the last one, but stop sitting around, waiting for things to happen! Ok, so what if there is an expression that says 'good things come to those that wait'... that only really works for some things, some of the time. There's also the expression that says 'you only get out what you put in'!

10. Be more frugal and not get so easily influenced by social media, youtubers or 75% off sales! (This is definitely going to be a tough one!)

11. Try to drink more than just Pepsi Max. Yes, I know it's unhealthy to drink so much, which is exactly why I need to find at least one other drink that I like the taste of.

12. Try to develop a better skincare routine and love the skin I'm in! I'm certainly not getting any younger...

13. Meet new people. When I had my breakdown I learned who my real friends are. Turns out, there's not many! Combine that with relocating to Essex and it can get very lonely. I've met a few people at my new job but I'd really like to meet more.

14. Step out of my comfort zone and try new things. Start by wearing more than just jeans and a t-shirt to work every day! Spice up my wardrobe and

15. TRY to let go of grudges and avoid moping. It's tough when my mind starts racing and getting itself in a spin but at the end of the day, I have to try to tell myself that that's all this is! Will this moment really matter in 5 years time?

16. Spend my time more productively and stop putting things off until the last minute! I did this at school and I still do it now...

17. Buy flowers regularly. I absolutely love the way they brighten up the room and how they make me feel when I look at them.

18. Try to learn something new each day, no matter how small.

19. Get a haircut! Stop putting it off because I keep changing my mind and resent paying the money. Last week I spent £40 on dinner for the two of us, yet I find £30 for a haircut expensive?! Ugh... logic!

We chilled out in the pamper tent for a while we were treated to relaxing face masks, manicure mits and even pedicure socks!